Ah' was cocht oan the hoof by the brakin' news o' the discovery of a new Stain Circle fernenst Annaclone the oer nicht, an' oany hid time til give yis a brief summry. Sin thy'on ah've hid further wurds wi' the Archaeologits an' thiv taul me that thar aimin' fur a big press lunch soon. They are unsure o' when tae unveil Sammy's Ring, an' point oot that it hasnae bin seen fur years. The feelin' amongst the archaeologits is that it wid be best tae wait til' see if Sammy will cum doon tae Annaclone an officially open his Ring tae the public, in the hope o' gainin' maximum publicity.*
This yin esked yis til consider which yin o' oor political hevywaits wud win in a ficht. It wis a close run thing, cummin' doon tae the last cupple o' votes, but Nigel an' Diane's Nepotisitc Tag Team squeezed in ahead o' the rest. The DUP hiv an' uncanny nack o' producin' equally politicly adept famly members, nae doot a result o' thair strang Ulster Scots gene pool, but the seamless way Diane barged past oer contenders tae stan' oan the threshold of Europe is a testament til her carisma an' political acumen. Naebudy can question her experience fur the post o' MEP, fur she spent her time as an MLA daein' as much as the rest o' them.
Oor funders in the Free State tell us that it is wile important that we shew purity o' esteam, so this weeks vote asks ye til consider which Shinner wid win in a ficht. When votin' mind that they've decomisoned.?.
Nixt time (tamarra nicht if Mrs McWilliams will let me intae the wine seller) - "Bit Five: Life in the Middle Stain Times."
*Niver yin til milk a joke.