It wus wi' grate shack thit ah lukked at this thing an' discovered thit ah hidnae been contributin' til the cultural life o' this land for nye oan a month. This is a shame an' disgrace an' Ah make nae excuses, except fur til say thit ah cudnae be arsed. Howiver in the interim it appears thit there is an election afoot, an' it is my bounden duty til inform an' enlighten yis oan how this may effect the hamely tongue. From the noo until May or so Ah therefore turn this cultural an' histerical site over til election reportin' - yer yin stap shap fur awl election news.
Fur til start.
As a shot across thar bows, Ah hiv begun til contack the parties fur til see whit they intend tae dae aboot the position o' Ulster Scots langwidge an' culture if they gain oor vote. Taenicht Ah fired aff a cupple o' escreeds til the twa biggest parties - Shinn Fin an' the DUP - fur til ascertain thar positions. In order that yousuns wud be kept up til date, ah hiv copied them fur yis belaw, an' will kaip yis informed of any developments.
Big Party Yin - The Shinners.
Dear Sinn Fein
As yis will nae doubt be aware, parity o' esteam fur langwidge an' culture here in Norn Iron is considered a wile important thing, an' a potential vote winner fur parties o' all political persuasions an' none, like the Alliance.
As director o' Ulster's premier Ulster Scots thing ah hiv tuk it upon messel fur til escreed roun' yous boys an' see whit yis intend fur til dae fur the hamely tongue if yis git elected anyplace, an' til see if yis intend fur til translate yer manifesto into Ulster Scots.
Ah wud appreciate a reply as soon as yis can get roun' til it, fur ah naid til inform ma raidership o' the best place til stick thar X on May 6th. It is May 6th isn't it? Let me knae if ah'm wrang on thy'on fur that wud be awkward.
Professor Billy McWilliams.
Big Party Twa - The Dupers.
Dear the DUP
As yis will nae doubt be aware there is an election comin' up in the nex lock o' weeks an' yis are surely puttin' the finishin' touches til yer manifesto as Ah screed.
Ah tae hiv an interest in elections an' the like, particalary as tae how they micht effect the braid Ulster Scots Community.
As yis are the party with responsibility fur the Boord o' Ulster Scots I wus therefower shacked when Ah perused yer wabsite oany til find that promotion o' the hamely tongue appears til hiv somewhit slipped aff the radar. Ah note thit yis screed aboot hivin' prevented an' Irish Langwidge Act but say nathin' aboot bringin' in yin fur oorselves.
Thus ah wud like fur til ask yis twa things -
Yin - Dae yis intend fur til translate yer manifesto intil Ulster Scots. As this is a requirement o' Stormount departments Ah wud assume thit yis will dae likewise.
Twa - Cud ye detail fur messel, as a representative o' the Ulster Scots folk, how yis intend fur til further oor culture if yis get elected somewhere.
Ah hope yis will unnerstand that a prompt reply wud be appreciated, as Ah hiv folk fur til advise oan the votin'.
Ma thankens til yis.
Professor Billy McWilliams.
Ah hiv alsae made a special election pole - register yer support fur the party yis support, or hate the least, or whitiver. Ah fur yin will haul aff oan decidin' til Ah raid the replies frae thesuns.