Whit is it wi' weemen an' canles? Ah just foun' oot that ma missus spent in excess o' 12 o' the Queen's Poonds on jist yin o' them. Whit in tha name o' Ian is that all aboot. If ah spend 2.99 on yin lang life bulb ah git a luk that wid stir porrige, an it lasts fur 12 million hurs (or the like). Naw ye maun nae git a smell aff a lite bulb, bit yil sure as naw set fire til yersel lukin' fur a beer in the fridge.
Ah was concerned aboot this strang diffrence betwixt the sexes, so a had a wee wurd wi' Dr Eileen McIlWilliamwilliamson o' the Skool o' Gender at Aughnacloy Wee Girls Study Centre. She taul me that thru her larnin' she has come tae the conklusion that its doon tae the fact that men invented elecktricity*, an' the weemen cannae cope wi that, so tha git revenge by spendin' oor hard earned poonds on meltin' wax that wud barely lite a bonefire.
Nat tae be sexist o'er the like, bit dinnae git me ontae cushuns.
Which laids me oan til a wee bit af a snap survey, ye can tak part if ye fancy a go.
*invented by an Ulster Scot, most likely. Ah'll luk it up.