Demos Kratia

Ah was intendin' this week til deal wi' Bit Fower - the Yinst Folk, but events in the wurld at large hiv overtakin' me. So instied wur goantae hiv a wee luk at the wurld o' democracy.

The quiz last week asked yis 'til decide which yin o' a few folk didnae hiv a Scots name. It wus, af coorse anuther wee trick, fur they awl dae. It was a cunning ploy designed til emphasise the crucial part played by the Scot in whit is (very) loosely termed the Norn Iron Piece Process. If it was wasnae fur Tony Blair an' his han' o' histry where wud we be noo? Howiver I hiv til han the hole thing til Danny Morrison. Efter awl, it wis he who invented the ploy o' havin' the armalite in yin han' an' the ballit boax in the oer. Prior to his intervention folk cudnae vote fur they were laden doon wi' armalites an' cudnae haul a pen. That said, ah shud point oot 'til Danny that, strictly spakin under electrol law, he hasnae any busness havin any han' oan a ballit boax. The responsiblility fur thar care is in the hans o' the presidin' officer o' the polin' station, an' he'd be better aff leavin well alain.

Lack o' Votin'

Naw ah hiv til ask yis, whit was the point o' Danny larnin' us that ye could leave yin armalite behine, if ye dinnae buther til vote in oor pole at awl. He didnae chuck boys oot the windae fur nathin!* A wheen o' weeks ago, we had 30 votes o'er the hied o' the praper wurd fur turkey, bit noo its declined til oany ten. At the time the Big Sums Dept here at 1690 wurked oot that at thy'on rate o' growth we'd fairly soon hit 17 million. Thiv noo taul me that if this rate o' decline continues, an' folk don't vote soon, ah'll be owin' the interweb votes. Whar wud we be then? Howiver ah confess that last weeks quiz was a wee bit hard, so ah've givin yis an easy yin this time roond.

Presidential Indoctrination.

Yis micht hiv missed it in the papers, fur it wasnae very well reported, but America has itself a new leader. As maist o' yis will knaw, upwards of 73 Presidents o' the US come frae Ulster Scots stock an' a cupple o' yis hiv esked me til research the new Commaner in Cheef, tae see if he can join that pantheon. Ah put ma best men, an hens, oan the job, an' ye won't be dissapointed.

Ma first port o' call fur this query was Billy McQuillan (o' the South-Aist Ards Bible an' Caterin' College). He has foun' oot that President Obama's ancestors include a family by the name o' Kearney. Billy has luked intae it and foun' that thesuns landed in Ulster frae Scotland at a place on the Ards Peninsula noo called Kearney Point.

At this point Billie-May Carson o' the Non-Subscribin' Scots Irish Academy o' South Virginia takes up the story. She tells us that the Kearneys let themselves doon by leavin' the Presbyterian fold an' signin' up fur the established church, uppin' sticks an' shiftin ' doon tae King's County. She goes ontae say thit luckily fur President Obama, his family sooned realised that they were livin' in the Free State, an' hopped oan the first boat they cud fine til America.

Interestinly, Obama's "Irish" roots were widely reported in the Free State press 'til they foun' oot his folk played doon the richt wing. Then the story dropped; they'll hiv tae make dae wi' JFK fur the time bein'.

Burn's Nicht.

Ah cannae let this week pass wi'oot a mention fur the wurlds gratest livin' poet, Rabbie Burns. This Sunday it is 250 years til the day that the grate man was born. As we awl knaw, he was nae stranger til Ulster's fair shores, fur he cud see them frae Ayrshire, an' there can be nae doot that he'd be the first mawn til support the hamely tongue. So this Sunday raise yer glass to "the wee sleekit, cowrin', tim'rous bastie", or if ye dinnae want tae toast Sammy Wilson, have a drink oan Rabbie Burns, inventor o' the bonefire.

Nixt week, Folk

*Allegedly