Monday 8 June 2009

Election stuff agin

And Lo....

a grate cry came up frae the people o' Ballymena, "Why Laird?" they wailed "Fur Why his a Shinner tapped the pole?" An' the Laird did anser unto them. "Dinnae be feart, fur the Shinner oany gat 26 percent o' the vote oan a 40 sumthin' percent turnoot so its hardly wurth the wailin' fur."

But the Ballymena folk didst bate themselfs wi twigs an' the like, sayin', "We dinnae unnerstawn them big sums, a Shinner is at the tap." The Laird did get hissel enraged an' ris up oot o' his throne an spake... "This time I did nat send yis the Big Man, he wud hiv won it fur yis. My party didst choose a wee stupid hen, an she didst make a ballicks of it, so that'll larn yis nat tae vote Jim Allister nex time."

Etc.....

Ah'm sayin' nathin' aboot the elections except tae point oot the fallyin'....

Yin - The low turnoot saims tae indicate that the traditional Ulster craft o' vote personation is a dyin' art. Less than a 50% turnoot? Vote early vote aiften.

Twa - The British Naturist Parity gat thar yinst seats over in England, but they put nae candidate up here. Why nat? Dae they nat realise that there is an acute shortage o' crypto-fascist, flag wavin', policy bereft freaks in these parts. We cud dae wi' them tae introduce a bit o' political lunacy amid these intellectual waters.

Thrie - More importantly ah hiv noticed a few odd things that hiv occured unner this PR system....

  • When the Green Party Boy an' Ian Parsley Jr o' the Allisance were eliminated thar transfers went mainly til the SDLP and Big Jim's CUNFs, as ye micht expek. Howiver, 4284 folk transferred til Jim Allister. Who oot thar thunk, "Ah'm a moderatin' type o' boy, ah'll vote Allisance, or Green maybes, then transfer messel tae Jim Allister?" Ah am startin tae think thar micht be sumthin in this Ian Parsley/Paisley joke aboot auld folk.

  • Then, when Jim Allister's boys transferred themselfs 2614 o' them went til the SDLP? That'll defen' the Union.

Which brings me tae this weeks pole, if yer candidate fur an election wus eliminated, who wud ye rather transfer til.....

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

go raibh mhaith agat a chairde!

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Ah cudnae agree mair.

Robert McAdam said...

maith isnae aspir-eated there a chara

Robert McAdam said...

ah didnae see elmo's name oan the ballat pepper

Anonymous said...

Progessor McWilliams - have you noticed in the midst of your frivolity regarding UCUNF and its unfortunate near associations, that your blog, 1690anallthon bears a striking resemblance to 1690 anall thong after several pints of snake bite.

People in glass houses should not hurl wildebeast (not least because they are difficult to acquire)

From

Disgusted of North Down

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Odd folk abound the nicht.

Robert - yer knawledge o' Irish is quite wurryin' it implies tae me that ye micht nat be the fine boy ah thunk ye wur. The rationale behine Elmo's inclusion will become clear in dew coarse.

Anonymous - that's jist plain durty thinkins oan yer part.

If I wis lukkin fur a wildebaste it wud be Nairth Doon ah'd visit, fur ah've bin til Bangor oan a hat day, an' sum o' the bastes roun' the Pickie Park wud turn a screw.

Robert McAdam said...

Aye progressor ah havnae been totally honest wi yes all, ah haev a wile bad past and ah cannae denie it. In me youngster years ah set aboot tae larn the Scotch Celtic thinkin wrangly ah wus scuverin ma roots, but lak the boyo Saul oan the loanin till the Mascus ah seen ah dokyementry aboot oor heed mon musicker Wullie Drennan an ah ony gansh in tha hamely tongue the noo.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

In thy'on case we kin settle then Roabert. Theres moanies a funded Celtics site oot thar, an' we kin hiv nain o' that kine o' clabber in thais parts. Wi'll niver git in the Newsletter if ye start oan lessons in Free Stae tongue.

Robert McAdam said...

An niver thocht o it thon way n sure nuff ahd lak tae see ma poor screevins in thon halowed toame. Afore ye saed thon ah wus heppy jis tae see ma bletherins in this here wabsite but jeepers wudnae it be smashin tae be able tae slabber tae the hole o Ulster Scotlan'!