As revailed in the last instawlment, we hiv accidentally wun a prize in a palitical blog competition. We thunk lang an' hard as tae how we iver gat involved in the competition in the yinst place, but then Wullie McIlveen admitted he gat pished an' put oor name intil thy'on Total Palitics site. As such paliticly registered folk, 1690 is therefower, prabably, oblaged tae dail wi' palitical things, even though we are officially banned frae dae'in it by yin o' oor European funn'ers.
Ah, fur yin, hate palitics in Norn Iron, it is genrally practised by arse folk wha left skool wi' a CSE Grade Yin in Lukkin' Hard Studies oor else went til University tae study farmin', cudnae make oany frens, sae joint a palitical party tae git sum, didnae, but nivertheless ended up an MLA. Howiver wi' oor new foun' status as a palitical blog ah hiv lukked at the news fur the yinst time in ages. Obviously blogs are meant til break unknain news tales, but ah cannae be arsed, sae ah lukked at the BBC instied.
The arseembly are sortin' oot thar digital TV coverage. Ah assume this will allow us awl tae luk at Sir Reg Empy in HD. Nat really a story ah'll grant ye, but did oany o' yis iver luk at it oan analogue?
Nat the yin aboot the Carrick postmen, wha' must be rushed aff thar feet, but LUK, 15 new jobs!! West o' the Bann! Mental oor whit? Some o' them micht even be legal.
15!! Imagine, 15 new jobs. At last the East/West employment divide in Norn Iron is broke.
GAA has Republican sympathies, says DUP man.
Guid, an' indaid shackin' story. Mair tae the point though, ah thunk at yinst thy'on wis a picture o' Gerry Adams.
Thy'ons the best ah kin dae, frae the noo ah' hiv withdrawn frae bein' palitical, fur it is ballix.
Fur oor American audience - the best news wiv hid in ages.