As such ah hiv bin funded by the Europe fur til clock up in the Ards holdin' high level meetins wi' a diverse range o' opinion farmers an' stakehaulers. Ah hiv bin put up in some o' the regions' finest caravan parks, an' been wineded an' dineded in atin' hooses as diverse as Joes Hat Spat o' Portaferry an' Wongs Royale, Portavogie. (The latter wis a delivery, an' it wis rank, swimmin.) This may soun' like some kine o' half arsed junket fur high falutin' academic folk like messel, but actually it come frae a long sighted (Europe Funded) internationally recognised series o' drinkin' sessions designed fur til wurk oot wha things shud be used tae promote the Ballyhalbert campaign. These symposiums came tae the conlusion thit there are fower key cultural things thit shud be used fur til judge oor cultural possibilities.
These are:
- Provision o' Swings - fur tae keep the wains occupied when ye luk at plays
- Provision o' toilet facilites - fur til prevent accidents due tae lack o' toilet facilities.
- Provision o' Orange Halls - fur til haul cultural extravagazas in.
- Provision o' o''er things - in case we missed anythin'.
Ballywalter
Swings.
Founded in 1234 by Lord John de Walter, the Ballywalter swings hiv provided minutes o' fun for wains since aboot then. If ye luk closely in the backgroun' yi'll see a pair o' Ulster's finest tennis coorts, makin' a 2015 international tournament fur tennis folk vaguely passible.
Toilets.
Orange Hall.
Quite good, but blue.
Ballywalter his its very ain DUP advice centre, situated conveniently fernenst a Barbers. Ah tuk a scoot in fur a luksee an' wis advised fur til git a short back an' sides an' nat talk til Fenians.
Nixt Time, Ballyhalbert itsell.
