TUV Election Broadcast - Ulster Scots Translation

Ah hiv til say thit ah wus quite lukkin fairward til the TUV showin', bein', as they are, the maist obvious hame fur an Ulster Scots vote. Howiver when ah sat doon til wurk oan it the source material was lackin' whit ye micht call "oomph" or indaid, any redeemin' qualities whitsoever. Ah hiv dun ma best wi' it, ah hape it enables yis til make a mair informed electoral choice oan things.

David Cameron

The Tory leader his accidentally waded intil the election here and, it wud saim, is an arse. Nat oany does is his face a wee bit like a perfectly formed baby's behind, he his somehow managed til sell the Cunfs doon the river afore the boat wus even afloat. His wee eyes considered Mr Paxman's hard question aboot cuts, an ye cud almaist hear his brain wurkin'.

"Ah knaw whit ah'll dae," he thunk, "Ah'll name the yin part o' the country thit the voters dinnae give a shite aboot." Sittin' wi' ma beer oan the McWilliams estate ah cud almaist hear Sir Reginald swearin' at the TV.

Rapid back trackin' oan the part o' Mr Cameron willnae disguise the fact that if there are major cuts in public funnin' til Norn Iron, this will be reflected in the support fur the Ulster Scots Language a' Culture. An his surname is Cameron, nae shame, ready for change my arse.

Anyhow - TUV

It is nat a DUP broadcast, though ah think they are mentioned mair than the TUV themselves.
Iris is particularly lovely in that picture, her head thrown back, hair flowin'. Lovely Iris, will we ever see yer like agin?