TV Leaders debate

In the interests o' oor raidership ah watched a wile lock o' palitics things oan the TV last night. frae aboot 9pm clean through til yin in the mornin'. This was both a tedious and informative experience. Accordin' til the English shows, a hung parliament is lukkin' likely. At yin point some boy even referred til "a well hung parliament." How Iris must regret stannin' doon with such a likelihood loomin'. Ah wud imagine, howiver, that this possibility may scupper the campaign til get Sammy in the nip pictures back intil the paper.

The UTV leader's debate saimed mainly til consist o' advertisin' breaks, sae ah now knaw mair aboot the attractions of Hughes car insurance aff those twa irritatin' boyos in the hats than ah dae aboot palitics. Howiver in the interests of informin' the broad Ulster Scots community ah will breefly summarise the key points belaw.

Sir Reg an' his Cunfs
Sir Reg cannae afford a half dacent suit it wud appear, howiver people want change an' he will putt Norn Iron at the heart o' government. Accordin' til Peter Rabinson if Reg gets elected he will be made Chancellor of the Exchecker, an' unusual claim frae an' opponent. Thats about it.

Wee woman an' her SLDP.
The wee woman is clean rippin' wi' Gerry aboot somethin' or o'er, an' she cannae pronounce the name Delores. The SLDP is better than the Shinners fur they turn up in parliament the odd time.

Gerry an' the Shinners.
Gerry was never in the provos. Votin' Shinner is great an' so are they, fur they dinnae turn up til parliament. Gettin' paid but nat turnin' intil yer wurk saims like a cunnin' plan tae me, although ah doubt most employers wud accept "boycottin yis" as a legitimate raison if ye phoned in in the mornin'.

Peter and the DUPers.
Peter made nae money oot o' thy'on land thing. Aside frae the money he gat frae sellin' his garden. Ah wud quite like til hiv bought the hoose that was built in it, fur ye wud get a quare view o' Iris in the mornin' ah wud imagine.

Greens, Alliance an' TUV
They were all oan later an' ah cannae remmember anythin' fur ah was a wee bit pished. Whit were the Greens dain' on thy'on mind ye? If ah get yin percent o' the vote in North Down will ah get oan next time? Mainwhile Lady Sylvia an her mad hair were absent. There wus room fur her beside Jim, who is lukkin' increasingly like a balloon wi' hair drew oan tap.

That is aboot the heicht of it, ah wud ask yis til note that there was absolutely nae mention o' Ulster Scots. Likeswise none o' the boys in England mentioned it in thar debate, further alienating oorselves frae the political process. If this continues ah will give serious thocht til formin' an illegal organisation fur til scare the shite clean oot o' them. Nat that ah wud ever join it like, ah've learnt that move aff Gerry.

Videos
The folly o' ignorin the Ulster Scots vote is clearly demonstrated by the continued popularity o' oor videos oan Youse Tube. Mair folk hiv now watched oor broadcasts than hiv watched the real yins. Nae further proof is naided that there is an audience fur Ulster Scots translations an' the parties shud take note. Still nae sign o' Jim's broadcast.