Ah wus lukkin at this the o'er day an' realised thit due til the interjection o' an election, we hidnae bin daein' tae much Histry o' late. The last thing we lukked at was how the Angle-Normans invaded Ulster, at the behest o' the Pope an' his bull. Ah signed aff by sayin' thit the next time ah wud take a luk at how they enforced their ways upon the peace lovin' Ulster Scot, whilst at the same time disabusin' the Gaelic lat o' any thochts thit it was they what was invaded. This ah shall dae now, it shudnae take tae lang.
How the Angle Normans enforced their ways on the hamely folk, an' the disabusin' o' Gaelic folk.
Professor Wullie McIlveen. Wullie hisnae featured much in these pages of late, but fortunately he his recently been appointed visitin' lecturer in Fairly (but not tae) Auld Stuff at Ballymackilroy Institute of Cattle Technology. He gained this new jab on the strength of his latest seminal work on histerical matters - "Thieving English Bastards - How the Angle Normans made a Ballix oot of Ulster". In this new tome Wullie drives the final nail intil the Gaelic folk's claims thit they were here first. Here he explains how he came tae his vaguely histerical conclusions.
There can be nae doubt thit the Pope sent the English over, as explained in the previous histry bit, but how did this effect the Presbyterians o' Ulster. Well for yin thing, says Wullie, Roger de Courcy invented St Patrick an' Saints. Hivin' decided fur til build his new capital at Dun (Ulster Scots for Down), he claimed til hiv foun' the bones o' Saints Patrick, Bridget an' Colin, movin' them all til his new church. Nat oany that, but he stuck St Patrick oan his money an' made a wile big fuss aboot him in general. In daein' sae he concocted whit histerians term "the cult o' St Patrick" an' thus, Wullie points oot, the English invented St Patrick's Day. Whit dae ye think oan thy'on Feile folk?
At the time the Presbyterians o' Ulster worshipped in small wooden churches fur the maist part, with oany the odd yin made o' stains. These were similar in construction til all the wee Gospel Halls that dot oor landscape til this very day - nae coincidence there. De Courcy, howiver, brung in big stain churches an' abbeys o' the type frequented by the o'er surt an' their near kinsmen in the Church of Ireland. It is interestin' tae note thit yin o' his biggest was erected in the heart o' Ulster Scots territory oan the Ards. In a blatant attempt tae ingratiate hisself with the locals he Anglicised the Ulster Scots name "Greba" intil Grey Abbey.
However Religion was oany yin o' the iron fists thit de Courcy used til shatter the old Ulster Scots order, he alsae used military might til bring the folk til heel. The Angle-Normans were richt an' handy at buildin' castles, many o' which can still be visited taeday (if, that is, NIEA bother their arses til open them). It is these castles, Wullie argues, that give the clearest indications yit thit it was the Ulster Scots thit the Angles were lukkin' til control, rather than the o'er surt.
He points oot that the key til the success o' any castle oor fortification is its strategic location, an' there is a dearth o' Angle Norman Castles in areas where the o'er surt are prevelent. Rather de Courcy's early castles an Mottes are located in Ulster Scots strangholds - Carrickfergus, Clough, Dromore, Harryville fur gods sake. Even the mighty citadel of Dundrum is so named fur the annual Lambeg drummin' match thit the early Ulster Scots helt in the area before the Angle boys arrived. Categorical proof, says Wullie, thit it was the hamely folk that were sufferin' under the chainmail jackboot o' de Courcy.
There ye have it. Nae further discussion required.
(* Aye Serendipity, ah read your last comment, but ah prefer the name Roger)
O'er things -
Balmoral show is streets ahead in the pole. Ah am glad til see thit oor votin' nummers are back til normal after the madness thit was the election. However in the midst o' all that we were in the paper again, winnin' plaudits fur oor election coverage. Yer man putts us oan a parr wi' the BBC's coverage, an' richtly sae, fur ah hid a wile hangover til pay fur ma wurk that night.