Jings!

Wakenin' up in a state o' disrepair yisturdey mornin' ah foun' ah hid a text frae yin o' oor regular raiders tae tell me we hid made page 19 o' the Saubath Times. Stranded as ah wis in Edinborough ah hid tae wait til taeday tae git the full story. I wis shacked tae fine that the paper described oor site as a "satirickal Ulster Scots" wabsite. Ah wid like tae point oot tae themuns at the Times that this is an EU funded Edukational site, nat sum kine o' cod thing. Ah considered contactin' oor solicitors but hiv decided tae laive it this time. Efter awl, it's the yinst mention wiv' hid in the press since Professor Willie McIlveen (o' the University o' mid-Antrim) wis arrested fur tryin' tae smuggle fut an mouth intae Cavan.

Credit wair its due, fur they managed fur tae fine a guid photae o' Mrs McWilliams oan last year's Anahilt Presbyterian Ladies ootin' doon tae Ballyhalbert.

Spakin' Toor.

The spakin' toor went accordin' tae skedule, aside frae the fak that much o' the time was spent discussin' bodily functions wi' ma companions. Ah wud imagine that betwain us we managed tae black haff the toilets in the capital, though thair was a surprisin' lack o' boakin'. As fur the rugby, ah cudnae tell ye that much aboot it. Fur yin thing when big Jimmy Heslip scored his try ah was doon belaw blackin' the toilets o' the saith stawnd.

St Patrick will be dealt wi' later oan.