Ballyhalbert 2015: nat as far tae go tae git crabs as Portavogie.
Ah'm nat mad fur it messel, fur ah fear it sends oot the wrang message, but the consensus saimed til lain in the crab direction.
In a strange omen, yin wi' bodes well fur oor campaign, Wee*Patsy in the 1690 Affice got a tea stain in her cup in the shape o' Norn Iron. Ah thunk yis micht like to see it.
*In earlier versions o' this article, the wurd "Big" wus accidentally used instied o' "Wee". After representations frae Patsy, and the treat o' physical violence, the error his bin addressed. Ah apologise fur any affence caused.