Friday, 2 October 2009

Campaign Updates an' Sellin' Motors.

Brock postin' fur ah hiv wurk til dae an' ah'm fur goin' oan the rip the nicht.


Threw nae fault o' oor ain we appear til hiv gat oorselves involved in a nummer o' high profile campaigns in the name o' the Ulster Scots community. Ah'm nat sure, fur a cannae be arsed lukkin' back an' checkin', but ah'm fur thinkin' that at the moment we are laidin' thrie protest movements. There his bin a grate dail o' publicity aroun the Ballyhalbert carry on but at this stage it micht be wurth pausin' fur til bring yis up til spaid wi' developments in the o'er twa.
  • Anti-Free State Google: This campaign is goin' full tilt. Efter screedin' til Google fur til point oot thar lack o' parity o' esteam in creatin' a Gaelic Google thing but nae Ulster Scots, oor braw new sarch ingine -  Hoke Oot - was created til univeral acclaim.* Thus far we hiv ansered 14 queries - thit's 14 thit dindnae gae tae Google. Ah hivnae done the sums, but a reckon if this continues at the present rate o' growth Google will be bankrupt at some point later oan.
  • Git Big Ian oantil the Sir Terry Wogan Breakfastin' show. We escreeded til the BBC bit they hivnae gat back til us. Ah am fur refusin til listin' til Radio Twa until they rectify this anamoly. This limits me til Highland Radio, fur the reception's wile bad roun' here.
* Universal acclaim limited til the Ballymoney area.

Sellin' Motors.

Aulder raiders micht recall thit back in July Mrs McWilliams caused severe damge til the enviroment threw the purchase o' a new motor. As a result we were left wi' her auld yoke, which lay oot the back til the o'er day when ah finally tuk messel til make a effort fur tae git rid o' it. Ah thus moved it roun' the front an' made a "Fur Sale" sign an' stuck it in the front windae.

Normally this wud cause nae grate ructions in oor part o' the country, but unfortunately it coincided wi' the Eighth Annual Artigarvan Supermodels Convention. Now purty gurls thesuns may be, but they entirely miscontrued the message "Fur Sale" an' lit at oor door in huge nummers either fur the protestin' or the purchasin o' pelts. Ah didnae knaw whare til luk fur some o' them wur wearin' next til nathin' an' thar heels cudnae hannle the muck. Howiver as luck wud hiv it we wur able til gid rid o' the motor, fur Kate Moss was oan the luksee fur an auld yoke fur towin' her black faced yos..


Fat Sparrow said...

I had to give the campaigning arest, as all of us have come down with Martian Death Plague or whatever it is that the trendy kids are getting these days. It can't be the Swine Flu, we had that back in March.

The models are so against fur that they even shave off their own. You should have looked a bit higher, and then you could have seen the multiculturalism that is the Brazilian.

I hope Kate Moss paid cash; I wouldn't take a check from her.

Dewi Harries said...


Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Ah hiv responded appropriately.


Barnes Gap.