Friday, 18 September 2009

UK City o' Culture and Hen Boys.

UK City o' Culture.

A kin proudly announce thit 1690's entry fur UK city o' culture is Ballyhalbert. It wis a close run thing, but in the end the attractions o' yin o' Ard's premier tourist destinations have wun through. Ah think we micht be stretchin' the term city a bit but Lisburn disnae even hiv a hotel an' Ballyhalbert his a rake o' caravan sites.

Ah've dun oot the form an' sent it aff. a picture o' an extract is below. This is oany an expression o' interest form sae ye dinnae hiv tae gae intil any level o' detail. Thus ah hiv time fur tae put taegither ma praper bid o'er the weekend.



Bangkok Hen Boys

Ah gat a quare shack when a lukked at the Belfawst Telegraf the o'er day an' discovered thit a rake o' thy'on Laddie-Boys a fur comin' til Ulster wi' some kine o' durty show. It disnae saim tae lang since they were chainin' up the swings o' a Sunday an' now luk at the levels we've sunk til. We hiv bin debatin' an appropriate reaction here in the 1690 orifice, Ah'm fur protestin', fur this kindae carry-on is an abomination agin the Laird, but Wullie McIlveen an' wee Davy are fur organisin' a work outin' fur til luk at them.

A wide rangin' series o' roun' table discussions fallyed oan frae this, mainly focussin' on how ye micht git tae be a Laddie Boy. Wullie McIlveen hid a few theories, mainly involvin' pumps o' yin type or an o'er, but the oany conclusion we come til is thit it wid be likely fur til be wile sore.*

Pole

Hivin' made nae definite decision as tae how we shud react til thesuns comin' oe'r wi' thar strange hen/mawnness we hid originally planned fur til allow yousuns tae decide whither we shud buk tickets or paint placards. Howiver the discussion on how tae turn yersel intae yin o' thy'on Lady-folk led til an alternative vote - which Stormount Minister wud luk best as a Hen Boy.

* Ah am fur warnin' yis, Auld Knunsden and John Henry in particular, thit this is a family blog, an' awl overly disgustin comments will be deleted by somebody or o'er, eventually.

7 comments:

John Henry said...

Adminstration of oestragens to make the protruberances grow would be a start Billy, but you would need to do a lot of waxing as well and possibly buy a wig. I suggest you consult your GP.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Nat tae rude John, well done. Nat fur messel ye ken, mair fur yin o the boys in wurk.

Manuel said...

you weren't joking either were you..crikey!

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Jokin' ma arse, we're the premier Ulster Scots campaignin' thing in my local area.

Thought ah'd bcc in awl ma special correspondants. Jaipurs wudn't it be grate if Ballyhalbert wun?

Dewi Harries said...

A serious lack of ambition. What's wrong with the Olympics?

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Ye micht hiv a point Dewi, but ah wus fur thinkin' thit if wur successful here we cud put in a joint Ards villages bid fur the fitba wurld cup.

Argentina v Brazil in Portavogie his a certain chachet. Wurld cup final in Ballywalter

Dewi Harries said...

Have a joint bid with Newbridge Gwent and Wales could qualify for the first time since 1958...