are at it again, this time askin' fur a display at the Giant's Causeway. Ah cudnae agree mair. All exhibitions shud give counter points of view oan things. Ah racently visited the Anne Frank exhibiton in Strabane, it wud be improved markedly if the BNP were allowed til give the Holocaust denial argument. Likewise the Orange Order's wee museum could be balanced by a series of panels writ by the Bogside resident's group.
Howiver ah amnae yin til luk a gift baste in the gub. Ah hereby volunteer ma expert services fur til write the Creationist thing fur the National Truss. In daein sae they will kill twa burds wi' yin stain, fur they'll get a wheen o' Ulster Scots things threw in oan tap. Therefore ah propose fur til send this til them forthwith.
1. At the end o' the seven days the Laird did luk at his new creation an' saw that it wus guid. "Ah hiv made the heaven an' the earth an' the bastes an' the burds an' the like," he didst say, "An' a hiv made fowk, an stuck them somewhar in the middle aist."
2. The Laird didst continue "Jist fur the record ah wud ask yis til note thit Ah hivnae made any dinosaurs oor the like, but Ah wus bored oan the third day an' stuck a few big bones in the racks fur til gie me a laugh in a lock o' years an' til fool yer science boys."
3. Thus the Laird didst rest, an' whilst restin' turned his attention til the Nairth Antrim area. "This coastline is braw," he thunk, "but lacks a certain je ne say qua" fur the Laird wus wurkin' oan French fowk in his spare time.
4. "Ah will gie this area til ma chosen fowk, the Ulster Scots, in a bit, but fur now ah will fashion a massive attraction fur til allae them til fleece Americans an o'er tourists in the years til come." Thus the Laird did invent the hexagon an' piled a rake o' them up randomly, aiven drappin' a lock o' them in the sea. The Laird didst luk at his thing, an calt it the Giant Causeway."
5. Then the Laird didst ate veda an' cheese.