Friday, 17 December 2010

1690 founder Billy McWilliams freed on bail, and the Budget.

The fallyin' is loosely tuk frae the BBC Wabsite
The founder of flute-blowing website 1690 an all thon, Professor Billy McWilliams, has vowed "til continue ma wurk an' fur til protest ma innocence" after being freed on bail.
The 39-year-old was granted bail two days ago but prosecutors objected, the bastards.
He is fighting extradition to Ballymena over sex assault allegations made by two women. He denies any wrongdoing.
Mr Justice Ouseley ordered Professor McWilliams be released "on bail o' a wile lock o' cash an' somethin' calt sureties" and on condition he resides at an address in Gilford.
Speaking on the steps of the High Court to a journalist, Professor McWilliams said: "It's braw til smell the reek o' Belfawst agin."
He went on to thank "all the folk aroun' Anahilt wha hid faith" in him, his lawyers for putting up a "quare ficht", people who provided money in the face of "bein' clean busted", members of the press and the British justice system.
"If justice isnae always an ootcome, at laist it isnae deid yit," he added, not being entirely sure what he meant himself.
"Ah hape fur til continue ma wurk an' continue til protest ma innocence in this carry on an' til revail as we git it, which we hivnae yit, the evidence frae these allegations. An' til go oot an' get blacked." (??)
Professor McWilliams had spent the past eight nights in prison.
He will now stay at a manor home on the Armagh-Down border owned by Wullie McIlveen, a 1690-supporting mentalist and owner of a carpet hire company in Portadown.
Professor McWilliams' solicitor, Wullie Colhoun, said after the court appearance the bail appeal was part of a "continuing vendetta by folk frae Ballymena".
There ye hiv it.
Aye, Ah am oot efter bein' helt in Maghaberry on trumped up charges o' havin' unprotected sex wi' twa weemen frae Ballymena, yin o' whom wus asleep. As ma solicitor pointed oot this is clearly an unpremeditated attempt by themuns in Stormount fur til silence the voice o' the Ulster Scot. The chances o' messel, a staunch Pradestant, havin' it aff wi'oot a thingummy are slight, niver mine havin' it aff wi' yin o' thon Ballymena heifers , although Ah admit the fallin' asleep bit his a ring o' truth about it. 
Raiders can be in nae doubt that this is an attempt by Stormount Ministers, an' Irwin's bakery, til stem the flow o' information spurtin' frae ma online organ. Ah kin assure yis all that Ah will continue fur til be a thorn in the arse o' the bastards, clockin' up there pontificatin' as if they ken whit they are at. Thus Ah address the budget thing.
The Budget thing.
Plastic Beg Tax - Ma arse. Dressed up as "enviromentalism" this is clearly an attempt til wring mair money oot o' the hard pressed shapper an' fur til bring us closer til a United Free State, fur they invented beg taxes. Whit they dinnae realise is that we all recycle the wee begs already in oor pedal bins, an' will thus be forced til buy those wee bin liners that are a wile waste o' money. Ah fur one will circumvent this by burnin' any combustible rubbish in ma fire, an' diggin' a big hole in the back field fur the rest. Stick thy'on up yer enviromental tax arses.
Pubic Sector Pay Freeze - "Fur tap earners earning mair than £21000 a year." Tap earners? Jaysus, mair like a figure randomly plucked frae wee Sammy's hairy ringpiece. Tae the best o' ma admittedly limited financial knowledge, £21000 isnae exactly in whit ye micht call the Simon Caul bracket. An' they'll have til pay til park their motors on the premises? Does this include teachers, dinner ladies, nurses? They'll just bung up the pavements fur the rest o' us.
Harbour Commission thing an' sellin' goverment land aff- Ah wasnae sure tae who these Harbour Commissioners are, but they hiv til give £125 million. Turns oot they are owned by the goverment in some way or o'er, sae where was the money goin' in the first place? As fur sellin' aff land, handy wee one there. Sell it aff at the bottom o' the market, til praperty developers. Nat that any o' the parties in Stormount hiv links til praperty developers, like Seymour Sweeney or the IRA.
Nae Watter Rates - because they think it'll piss folk aff. It wud, but we'd all soon furget about it an' come the election we'd all vote fur the same folk as last time. Insteid they'll put the o'er rates up, an' still nat grit the pavements.
A £20 million poun' hardship fund - now I lukked some real figures up fur a change an' it turns oot that 20% o' the papulation o' Northern Ireland is "in paverty", an' I make that about 350000 thousand folk. A quick sum in ma heid makes that £6 each for poor folk. Dinnae spen' it all in the yin shap.
Some o'er things - which Ah cannae mind. Anyway Sammy said it was a "good Christmas present for the people of Northern Ireland." He meant praperty developers, people who piss watter down the sink, folk who dinnae shap, poor folk who get excited by £6 an' pubic sector wurkers who walk til wurk, manage til keep their jab an' earn £20000. The rest o' us are bucked.
It is snowin' a wile lat o' late, though ye wudnae know it if ye watched the local news.

1 comment:

Mark said...

Billy, hid ye refused yer appal duff wilest at Her Majesty's plasure ye'd hiv bin elected MP awn Westminster awlready. Than ye'd be able tae wipe yer arse with £21,000! (on Ixpanses!)