Terry Wogan's Blatant Sectarianism

Oany a wee post taenicht fur ah'm oany in the door after a wurk thing. We wur hivin' a team bondin' exercise taeday, mainly involvin runnin' aboot lukkin fur things an' then hivin' a BBQ. Very nice it was tae, if it wasnae fur a lack o' variety in the meat department leadin' til messel hivin' til ate a vegetarian meat substitute pretendin' fur til be a sausage. A pointless exercise which will nae doot play havoc wi the McWilliams disgestive system. Ah hiv hid tae rush hame an' drink beer fur til try til detox.

Terry Wogan

Aulder raiders micht recall a brief campaign we run a lock o' months ago fur tae git the Reverend Dr Big Ian Paisley oantil thocht for the day oan the Radio 2. As we pointed oot at the time Sir Terry Wogan an' his crew hiv awl kines o' folk oan thar programme, gi'en us a few things til think oan ivry mornin'. At nae point his the big mawn bin oan.

I was concerned, therefower, tae fine oot that Sir Wogan is fur retirin' an' still hasnae reached oot til the Ulster Scots community by invitin' oan the big mawn. As the clack is noo windin' doon ah hiv decided til reopen this auld campaign tae see if we kin git it sorted by Christenmas. It micht be hard fur tae run twa high profile campaigns at the yi time, whit wi' the ficht agin' Google an awl, but ah've taken oan some tempry staff fur til dae the spade wurk.

Thus ah hiv agin escreeded til the BBC. Ah cannae gie yis the email address, fur its yin o' them wee boxes thit ye fill in, but ye can add yer support here.

This is whit ah screeded til them........

Dear Sir Wogan

A lock o months ago ah screeded til yis pointin' oot thit yis hiv consistently failed fur tae broaden the cultural an' religious mix o' yer Thinkin aboot the Day bit by invitin' oan the Reverend Dr Big Ian Paisley tae gie ye his thoughts. At the time ye ignored thy'on email, nae doot tae busy chortlin' aboot traffic an the like wi' yer chums, an' noo ah fine thit ye are tae retire frae the wireless.

Ah wid hape thit ye intend fur til redress this wanton sectarianism by gittin' the Big Mawn oantil yer show as soon as passible. He tae his retired, sae wid be able fur tae fit ye in. If he cannae manage it, ah wid suggest thit ye find some o'er figure frae the Ulster Scots community tae dae a bit o' thinkin'. Ah wud volunteer messel, but ah dinnae think oan religion very much. Howiver if ye want someyin tae give thar thoughts oan which crisps make the best sangwich, ah'm yer mawn. (Personally ah think it's Wotsits, fur the texture an flavour is jist richt, but unfortunately thar a bad shape an are furiver rollin' oot o' yer Mother's Pride).

Love
Professor Billy McWilliams,
Heid Yin o' 1690 an' all thon

Ulster Scots Radio

Cannae believe ah missed this. House prices within a 10 mile radius o' Maghera must hiv shat up. Maybes Sir Wogan shud take up wi' them after he retires frae Radio Twa.

Ah will endeavour fur tae post richt tamarra nicht when ah've hid time til drink more.