Thursday, 18 December 2008

Saison's Gloamins

Ma thankins til aw' wha tuk part in that Christenmas quiz. It was wile heartinin' tae see that tha numer o' folk takin' part has near double' since the last yin. At this rate there cud be close tae 17 million* voters by July**.

Naw is the time til revail that the currek anser is - yis il haf tae imagine an X Facter style bild up here - ............. bubbly-jock. If ye got that, gie yersel a point. Howivir, an it may come as a bit o' a surprise to thosuns o' yis wha' thocht yis were bein' smart, if ye pit doon "Ottoman Empire" gie yersel haf a point. Unbeknownst til yersel, the ansers were made by none o'er than Dactur Billy McQuillan, Visitin' Lecturier in Linguistics at South-Aist Ards Bible an' Caterin' College. He set the quiz in a purposefully convaluted style.

Wullie explained that it is aways important in Ulster Scots tae use the auldest name ye knaw fur a country oor place, sae Ottoman Empire is the richt name fur the country o' Turkey. Fur example, if yer bukkin' a wee trip away frae Ballymena yid be better aff askin' the girl fur a tickit til Czechoslovakia or the Soviet Onion than whiteivir thur calt these days. I fur yin hiv noticed that there is nae better way tae bring a smile til a Dubliner's face than til talk til them aboot life in the Free State, so Wullie may hiv a point.

Naw pole this week but wi Christenmas roun' the bend a've stuck a couple o' last minute gift ideas up fur yis.

* Accordin' til the Big Sums Dept o' the Ulster Scots School o' Dancin, Ballymena.

** End o' the Orange Financial Year.


Anonymous said...

Hinkers, thon Wullie 's sum boy. Mibbee he shud tak o'er frae thon wupsie Simon Cowell wi 's breeks up roon 's oxters. Ma faither wus an X-factor. He gaithered the rent frae all thae bambs i' t tenments. Thon Cowells a wile minice.
Am deleeted wi thon links to they sangsters. I hannae heart sangs lik thon sin a wur a wee daftie wean. Fair Fa yez aaa tae the noo yeer.

'oul bin hoker.

Unknown said...

I seriously think that you could become world famous if you keep this up!

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Ma thanks tae Eoin fur his kine wurds. As ma agent in the Newry Area, he's certainly goin aboot his joab well.