Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Save oor Sammy.

Thair his bin a wile lat o' discushun aboot Sammy, oor esteamed Ulster Scots Ministair o' the Enviroment, o'er the last cupple o' days. Yinst he commented that it wis awl richt tae git tae skool in thrie fut o' snaw, then he banned an advertizment fur global warmin'. Ah feel that folk hiv bin wile hard oan him bit ah thought ah shud check me facts. Ah goat oan the elektric telefone tae Professer Antoinette Givenchy, frae the Ulster-Huguenot Skool o' Alledged Climatic Changin' Events at Lisnafiffy Creationist College, an she giv' me her thoughts.

Surprisinly she belives that Sammy's wrang (!) aboot the gettin' tae wurk in the snaw, an' points oot that MLAs arnae sae guid at gettin tae wurk wi'oot it, bit says that he micht well be correk aboot the climate change ads.

Fur why:

Ai: Thar his bin a wile lat o' snaw, nat sae much warmin'. Here oan the McWilliams estate ah' can bairly see the coachin' stables.

Be: The wurld is furiver warmin' an coolin', its called wither.

See: If CO2 really did cause warmin', then fire extinguishers would be hat, pit yer han' oan yin nixt time ye pass yin.

Dee: The adverts arnae very guid, yin o' them tells ye tae stap ivry time ye see a red licht. Try that in Amsterdam an' yil be knackered in nae time.

Eee: The Green party are sayin' it, an' thar nat Orange.

Eff: Since oor new stain circle wis discovered, (luk at the earlier poast - BRAKIN' NEWS) the Ministair his bin distracted, spenin' a wile lat o' time lukin roond it. Ye really cannae blaim Sammy fur bein' up his ain Ring oan this occashun.

Annie concludes that ye shud forgive Sammy oan this an' gie him an o'er chance, fur sure wair wid we be wi'oot him.


Anonymous said...

Perhaps the Minister's encouragement to our wee ones, to go boldly to their place of education, stepping boldly in the snow - rather like Wenceslas Page Boy methinks - reflects a wider knowledge of the environment and particularly those cultures where it is considered beneficial to roll naked in the snow, often in association with beating by birch twigs. Hopefully you will refer to this stimulating habit in when, in due course, you recount Tales of the McVicking Incursions.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Indaid yer richt Serendipity, tho' ah half expected ye tae be screedin' in French.

Nae man knaes mair aboot nudey snaw rollin' than oor Sammy.

Anonymous said...

*removes bits of bonito y ensalada bocadillo from chinny chin chin*

I for one cannot wait for the Tales of McViking Incursions and the snow. I myself do enjoy a brisk roll in the snow when the occasion arises, and indeed enjoyed conditions in the Sally Gap most enormously last week.

Good day to you

Professor TimTim MacPat Coogan