Thursday, 26 March 2009

Bit Nine - Life in the Branze Ages

Racent Exitements.

A terse screed frae oor funders his remindeded us that we havenae dun any histry this last feu weeks. Ah apologise fur that, but a combination o' drinkin excursions, grawn slawms, press appearences an' genral laziness hiv meant that the histerical aspects o' the blog hiv bin furgat. This we will rectify this eavnin'. Afore we dae, ah need til address the pole.

Address til the pole.

The last pole asked yis til wurk oot which yin o' a few boys wisnae af Ulster Scots roots. The voters went fur Muhammad Ali by a massive 12 - 9, but they were wrang. Surprisin' as it may saim, Ali did indaid hiv an Ulster Scots ancester, ah knaw this fur a fak fur ah read it in a Belfawst Telegraf supplyment. Researchin' this ah foun' oot that Ali yince visited Ulster in search o' his roots. Wile the "Rummle in the Jungle" is yin o' the maist famousest baxin' bouts o' histry, less well knain is the "Pochil in Ahogill"; when the then Cassius Clay wis flewred by Professor Willie McIlveen ootside the Orange Hall, in a squabble o'er which bawnd wis the best Melody Flute at the town's weekly parade.


Is still thar, thank the Laird.

Bit Nine - Life in the Branze Age.

In bit Echt (sumtime hence) we explained the Ulster Scotsness o' the Branze Ages folk, lurnin' how they were driv frae thair hames by Aliens but ris up agin tae invent metal. Whit we didnae lurn wis how they lived thar evryday lifes. Luckily ah bumped intae WJ McIlveen in the cheese section o' the big ASDA in Strabane (which wus bunged full o' Free Staters avoidin' the cripplin' drink taxes o' thar native land) an' he gie me a few notes.


Accordin tae WJ thair is sum debate o'er the nature o' the hooses that Branze Ages folk lived in. Sum archaeologits reckon that they lived in recktangle hooses, replete wi' murial bedecked gables, but new evidince points til roun' yins. It saims that the archaeologits foun' thesels an entire Branze Ages village at a place called Corrstown, a hauny step frae yin o' the Ulster Scot's favrite hingoots, Portrush. This wee settlement wis sae advanced it even hid cobbled roads. Fur sure this is further proof o' the Ulster Scotsness o' the Branze Ages, fur if thair wisnae a European grant Free Staters cudnae metal a surfice.


Like awl guid Ulster Scots, yer Branze Ages mawn was wile fur his fuid. Evidince suggests that he (oor mair likely she) cuiked this fuid in a big hole in the groun' now generally termed (in the Free State) a fulacht fian. This name ignairs the obvious Scots inheritance o' this form o' cuikin:

Yin - The cooker wis warmed frae stains hated an' threw in a pit o' water. Wair wur the stains heated? In a bonefire.

Twa - Fulacht fian is clearly a jumblin o' the Branze age Ulster Scots - Fulla Feedin'. Thair are nae better aters than Ulster Scots, sae if yer lukin' tae boil haf a yo in a hole in the groun' yid be as well in Markethill.

Stain Rings

Branze Ages folk were mad fur bildin big rings o' stains, maist famously at Beaghmore sumwair in Co Tyrone. Noticeably, aside frae a few in Cork an Kerry, these are mainly in Ulster. Archaeologits hiv suggested that they wur bilt fur rituals, perhaps oany used a cupple o' times a year. WJ McIlveen reckons that this is further proof o' the marchin' instinct o' the Branze Ages man. He points oot that the circles wernae built in toons, but in fields, perhaps, he suggests, sum kindae o' pre-march assembly field. Alternatively, it cud be "the field" that yin marches til. If the proximity tae fields wasnae proof enough, WJ reckons that the placement o' the stains exactly mirrors the stawnin' distances required fur a guid lambeg circle. He shud knaw, fur he's measured wi' an inch tape.

If ye doubt the wisdom o' this, go back tae oor Youse Tube bit in February fur proof.

Ah hid hoped tae gain mair information frae WJ but he wis lifted fur cheese theft by the Latvian security mawn. Hopefully he'll be oot in time fur the Iron Ages.

New Pole

Yisturday ah wis amazed til see that a portrait o' the Free State T-Shurt oan the cludgie wis putt oan show in a gallery. This week's pole asks ye tae consider which o' oor Ulster Scots MLAs yid like tae see in a nudey picture. Ah hiv tae admit ah've picked ma puck already.

Incidently, ah've added a few photis tae Aboot us.

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