Friday 29 May 2009

Poles an' New Thing

A late postin' the week fur we here at 1690 hiv bin debatin' a new concept oer the last few days. Ah hid originally posted aboot this late last night, but then changed ma mine an' deleted it. Ah wisnae tae sure whither we shud branch oot or nat, but in the end ah've decided tae go wi' the flow.

The prablem is that ah've bin contacted by yin Professor Archibald Kincaid, heid o' big sums at the LSE (Larne Skool o' Economics). His team hiv set up the Ulster Akademic Research + Statistics Executive, an' wish tae link wi' us. They argue that oor poles hiv bin spewin' oot a wealth o' statistics oan Ulster Scotsness but then are lost til akademia when they are deleted. They propose tae use thar site tae act as a suppository fur oor statistics, as well as generatin' new research. We hiv added them til oor side bar thing sae ye kin keep abreast o' developments.

Adultery.

The marriage guidance pole is lukkin' interestin'. Keep yer advice comin'.

Speed pole.

Yis were awl wrang, as awl the speeds are the same. They equate til the maximum speed o' a wee Massey Ferguson 135 doon Rathfriland hill wi' the wind behine it.

This weeks pole.

The wither is wile hat fur a change, allowin' me tae cut ma grass fur the yinst time in weeks. Ah visited the shap wi' Billy Junior fur tae buy him a poke, an' the plethora o' differn' types o' pokes oan offer frae the fat girl behine the counter was quite dizzyin'. That put me tae thinkin oan a new pole, fur as everyin knaws, there's nathin better mair importan' til an Ulster Scot than a nice big poke oan a Sunday evenin'.

2 comments:

Roabert McGantry said...

Ah wud propose that a slider is far better than a poke.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Thar is oany yin way tae fine oot......