Monday, 31 August 2009

Free State Google

New Campaign

Yin ' oor correspondents (fur we dae hiv a cupple) spatted an interestin', an' indaid shackin', story oan the BBC website the o'er day. Ah'm sure he wis as bewildered as ah wus when he read it, but luckily he gat in touch wi' oorselves an' we hiv a chance tae put it richt.

It appears thit themuns in the Google hiv created an Irish Language service, fur use by yins in the Free State. Ah knaw thit the alarm bells will be ringin' fur yis already. Whar, we ask, is the Guid Friday agreed, legally required Ulster Scots equivilant?  As Norn Iron's largest an' laist sectarian Ulster Scots web thing we hiv taken up the challenge an hiv e-screeded til the folk at Free State Google. Oor response is below, ah wid urge awl oor raiders til dae likewise. (

Time wastin'.

Ah wis playin' Spider Solitaire the o'er day, when ah happened tae luk at the statistics. It saims thit ah' hiv lost 14768 games o' it, whilst winnin' 1588. This gives a total o' 16356 games. If an average game takes yin minute, thy'on mains ah hiv spent 272.6 hours playin Spider Solitaire. Combine thit wi' time spent writin' this, lukkin at futball scores an' examinin' Busty Ballymena (fur research purposes oany) yid soon wurk oot thit ah hiv wasted ma hole life an naid tae fine o'er interests. Ah intend til dae sae soon, but in the maintime ah wus wunnerin' if any o' yis oot thar his wasted as much time oan crap computer card games?


Ah'm enjoyin' the fleg countin' thing at the battom o' the sidebar. It noo his mair flegs than Sandy Row in July, A fair smatterin' o' Union Jacks alang wi' a rake o' Free State yins fur the bonefire.


We are indaid culturally significant. We knew thit already, but its guid fur til hiv it confirmed by oor raidership.


Bertrand Hairy-Entry said...

Jings and help ma boab. A cannae beleve that themins in the interfernat world has the sactarian cheek tae dae doon the proud ulster scot. Mind ye efter themins gat intae bed wi the Chinese an sould thir prinkiples oot nathin wid shak us. I had to forgo ma beef 'n black beans fir months efter that. Them uppity free state foriners is gittin tae uppity and free wae ther so called lingo. Time for ackshun. Am awae tae borra big margie's micaphone and spakers thit shae usis for tae preach the lairds word on the glorious Creggah Road on a saturday (she's the yin by the library, nat the splitter by the ulster bank) far tae do a bit a shoutin ootside the interfernet HQ. Dae ye knaw where that is Billy?

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Ah knae thy'on libary well, Bertrand, in fak ah think ah saw yer ain Hairy-Entry ootside it a few times.

Ah, hiv tae say yin wurd aboot ma new campaign though - Arse.

Fur ah hiv realised thit ah hiv opened a war wi' google, the yins wha host ma blog an' fine maist o' ma raiders. Ah cannae see how a wee Ulster Scots web based community kin tak oan a multi-national thing like Google, unless o' coorse we resort tae armed insurrection. Which ah'm thinkin' oan.

Archibald McArchiblad said...

Yer brock at the Spider Solitaire Billy, fur I have wun a far haigher percentage o' games thin thy'on. I checked ma statistics, an hiv wun 2453 tae losin' 11321. Are ye a prefesser oor whit?

Thy'on said, if ye want a boy wi' a shat gun fur tae tak oan Google, I'm yer man.

Ye bai ye.

Manuel said...

wonder what the top searches are on it? Big Assumpta with her skirt up? Ha!

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Yiv gat me wurried the noo Manuel, whit if them Free Staters are Googlin' fur Busty Ballymena an' lukkin at oor gurls in thar smalls? Thit wid nat dae at awl.