Saturday, 31 October 2009

Ballyhalbert - Fact Findin' Tour

Ballix - fur ah hid a whole screed writ then pressed the wrong button oan the machine an it all went. Suffice tae say ah hiv bin sent oan a fak findin' mission til the aist Ards region, allowin' me til fully demonstrate the cutural diversity o' this area. Ballyhalbert cannae stand alone, it naids the support o' its greater hinterland if it is tae rise above fancy places in England.

As such ah hiv bin funded by the Europe fur til clock up in the Ards holdin' high level meetins wi' a diverse range o' opinion farmers an' stakehaulers. Ah hiv bin put up in some o' the regions' finest caravan parks, an' been wineded an' dineded in atin' hooses as diverse as Joes Hat Spat o' Portaferry an' Wongs Royale, Portavogie. (The latter wis a delivery, an' it wis rank, swimmin.) This may soun' like some kine o' half arsed junket fur high falutin' academic folk like messel, but actually it come frae a long sighted (Europe Funded) internationally recognised series o' drinkin' sessions designed fur til wurk oot wha things shud be used tae promote the Ballyhalbert campaign. These symposiums came tae the conlusion thit there are fower key cultural things thit shud be used fur til judge oor cultural possibilities.

These are:
  • Provision o' Swings - fur tae keep the wains occupied when ye luk at plays
  • Provision o' toilet facilites - fur til prevent accidents due tae lack o' toilet facilities.
  • Provision o' Orange Halls - fur til haul cultural extravagazas in.
  • Provision o' o''er things - in case we missed anythin'.
The Cultural phenomena thit is the Aist Ards Region is tae much fur yin Blog bit, sae taenicht ah am oany goantae giv ye the wurd oan......



Founded in 1234 by Lord John de Walter, the Ballywalter swings hiv provided minutes o' fun for wains since aboot then. If ye luk closely in the backgroun' yi'll see a pair o' Ulster's finest tennis coorts, makin' a 2015 international tournament fur tennis folk vaguely passible.


These are potentially the highest tech toilets oan the Ards, fur ye hiv tae pay intae them. Ah didnae luk inside, fur it wud hiv cost me, an' they appeared til be broke.

Orange Hall.

Quite good, but blue.

Other things:

Ballywalter his its very ain DUP advice centre, situated conveniently fernenst a Barbers. Ah tuk a scoot in fur a luksee an' wis advised fur til git a short back an' sides an' nat talk til Fenians.

Nixt Time, Ballyhalbert itsell.