Thursday, 19 November 2009

Fact Findin' Toor o' the Ards: Bit Thrie


Taenicht oan oor fact findin' toor we look at the capital o' the greater south aist Ards region, an' future UK City o' Culture, Ballyhalbert itsell. We hiv actually lukked at a few o' the attractions o' this settlement afore, but this time ah hiv driv doon til the Ards fur til take photas messel. This is actually quite a dangerous pursuit, fur anyyin hangin' aroun' ootside public toilets an' wain's playparks wi' a camera is likely fur til git a kickin',  but luckily ah wus able fur til secrete messel like some kindae Privite Defective. This shud gae some way tae explainin' the unusual angles an' general low picture quality.
Rememberin' the key criterions fur successful cultural status, toilets, Orange Halls, swings an' o'er things, we first luk at.....

Playpark Provision.

This time ah furgat tae take a picture o' the swings, but tae make up fur it ah gie yis the swings at Cloughey....

Thesuns hiv the unusual added danger o' fair chance o' the swingin' wain blowin' intil the sea, nat stappin til the Isle o' Men.

Orange Halls:

Oany a wee yin in Ballyhalbert, but sufficient fur both the meetin' in an' the signin' o' Ulster Covenants (when the naid arises, last time wus 1912.)

Public toilets provision:

These are somewhat inadequately placed, bein' doon by the harbour rather than in the village itself, slightly inconvenient if yer caught short at the Mace. When I called, there was a BT van workin' oan the wires, which proves that Ballyhalbert his at laist yin phone, albeit possibly in the public toilets.

The toilets themselves hiv a guid flush action, sufficient tae sink a veda loaf. When ah wus there they hid enough toilet roll fur sevral wipes, though this cannae be guaranteed til ivry user, accordin' til the wee cuddy at the council, when ah rang til check.

Provision o' o'er things.

As yid expect, Ballyhalbert his a range o' o'er things, awl o' which place it firmly oan the international cultural an' tourist map.

An international hoverport

Essential fur bringin' in foreigners fur the local folk tae welcome.

Some Flegs

Fur til decorate the place an' make visiters aware o' when til keep their mouth shut. Sorry about the poor photae quality, ah tuk it through the windae o' the motor.

A shap that sells everythin'
Cultural visiters will hiv nae buther daein' the lottery, buyin' fags or tappin up their phones, if they hid any mobile signal fur til use them.

Some Sheep.

Fur lukkin' at an' maybes strokin', if ye kin git close enough. Thesuns are in the distance. But they are sheep.


We hivnae hid a pole in ages. Ah cannae think oan any. Suggestions please.......


Cat-astrophy said...

Pole: Fur what can we make the Wee Davy wear til thon wurk c'mas shebeen?

Wee Davy said...

Ah've an idea fur a pole: Whit man shud Wee Daftie coort?

Cat-astrophy said...

key wurd bein' MAN

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Pole arranged

Dewi Harries said...

OK - fabulous campaign for the culture stuff but failed - OK how about "Ballyhalbert International Airport" there's form?