Monday, 6 July 2009

Exchange Programin'

Ano'er wee yin the nicht fur ah am fur ma hallydays oan Wednesday, an' ah hiv tae pack. After a spell o'er Easter doon the Ards lukkin at the wee fat folk, the McWilliamses are fur goin foreign this July, tae Scotland tae luk at mair wee fat folk. Ah knaw whit yis are goantae say, "Whit in the name o' the Laird is Billy McWilliams daein' goin' awa oe'r the Twelfth, shudn't he be oot the front o' Lisnafiffy Purple Helmets wi' his apron oan?"

Normally ah wid, but the year ah've agraid til tak part in a kultural exchange programme whereby ah tak messel til Scotland til luk at thar beer an' fat folk, an' the Scots send Artur Boruc til put a light til the big bonefire oan the rocks at Ballyhalbert. It is hoped that awl parties will benefit frae this sharin' o' diverseness an' the like.

As wi' ma trip til Scotland fur tae see Ireland bate the auld country at rugby, reported in March, it is richt an' aisy til predict the ootcome o' this hallyday. The McWilliamses are mair than likely til dae the fallyin'
Yin. Argue aboot how much stuff Mrs McWilliams naids til bring wi her.
Twa. Visit shaps
Thrie. Visit a castle
Fower. Visit swings
Five. Gae tae Inverary an' luk at a boat.
Sax. Argue aboot how much stuff Mrs McWilliams brung back wi' her that she never wore.
Ah will alsae experiment wi' brown beer at ivry opportuntity, an' shud hiv access til a computer thing sae micht update oan oor whereaboots.
International Madness
The Ulster Scots akademic interweb went clean mental o'er the weekend wi' perhaps as many as a rake o' folk landin' oan oor site laivin' comments an' the like. Ah now need tae put links oan ma site til these new folk, but ah havnae gat roun' tae it yet. Ah apologise fur ma slowness, but yinst ah naid til raid yer blogs til see if any o' yis keek wi' the o'er futt, fur a widnae want til link til anythin' which tuk the hawn oot o' the Ulster Scot.

Ma aulder brother claims that this weeks pole, suggestin' that the wurld wud be a better place wi'oot sum o' Norn Iron's tap celebrities, is in bad taste. Ah think this is rich comin' frae him, considerin' whit ah hid til delete frae ma comments oan the Saubeth mornin', howiver ah concede that he micht hiv a point. Ah hiv therefower added a new pole tae test the watter.


ellie said...

Have a great holiday.

Fat Sparrow said...

Enjoy your vacation!

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Ma thankins til yis boath, but the richt wurd is Hallyday.

Ah shud add, that goin' tae Scotland unfortunatley involves drivin' through Larne. Hopefully Mrs McWilliams will mak it. Fat Sparra will knaw whit ah main.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. McWilliams,
I am originally from Lurgan and am trying to learn Ulster Scots. Although I can now resist the temptation to call things "cat", I am having difficulty in understanding the spelling system used in Ulster Scots. Is it based on age-old practice and tradition or was it just made up on the hoof a few years ago in exchange for a government grant?
Many thanks in advance for helping me to understand my culture. Enjoy your holiday,
John Henry
PS Perhaps of interest to you is an obituary of Mr. Sammy Duddy - UDA man and drag queen. A link is available at my new blog:

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Well Mr Henry
Ulster Scots is a livin' an' evolvin' langwidge. This allaes the likes o' messel til spell things differn oany time we fancy it.

There is, howiver, several basik rules. Which ah micht tell yis sumtime if ah'm minded til dae sae.

Callin' things cat is fine, though wick an' brock are better wurds.

Anonymous said...

Thankee Koindlee Prafessor McWallioms für yon awnsir. Ah hear that yer site is a clean yin and that onny ungentlemanly references tae thangs sich as "Gerry Fitts" wall bae deleted. Aht´s guhd tae hear ahn gud tae knae thaht ah can spell onny way ah will. gudnicht tae ye!

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

The wurst wurds allaed oan here are balliks an' arse. This isnae ma fault, its doon tae european fundin' ristrictions. Ah hiv said bastard yince, but ah wis drunk.

Innuendo is fine, sae lang as its oan a carry oan level.

This is Ulster Scots we're talkin' here, nat some kine o' prevert langwidge.

Thats fur the French.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

An' naw, ye cannae combine ballicks an' arse etc tae mak rude sentences, fur ah knaw how yer mine wurks ye durty Lurgan type person.

Anonymous said...

Danke, Ah will limit maesel tae the wurds ye hae mentioned and not venture further intae filth that isnae welcomed here. But as ye knae, ye can take a man out o´ Lurgan but ye cannae take the Lurgan out o´a man.

Anonymous said...

An Ah dinnae like thon yur...eur..ooropeens (?) tallin´us whot ooor Ulster Scots wurds shud be like oor nae.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Ah am fur admirin' yer langwidge use. Its funny how it awl cums bak tae ye yince ye think on it fur a while.

Liam said...

Does the Ulster Scots community have a view on what's now called Orangefest?

I heard a DUBLIN based academic on the radio say of her students' reaction that "some find it scary and the drums are intimidating". She seemed to miss the point, probably.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Orangefest is a cross community Ulster Scots Kultural extravangaza. Wi' a crap name.

Quare hearin' fur a Dublin gurl ah hiv tae say.

Fat Sparrow said...

Hopefully the missus will survive!

The husband says that going on Hallyday with your missus sounds like going camping with me.

And that's why we now have a motorhome.

Old Knudsen said...

I hear the name of Larne being taken in vein.

Ach years back Old Knudsen was a fisher round those parts and used to catch crabs all the time.

If ya go ta me home town of Killamory I suggest a pint in the Fried egg but don't mention my name or you'll get glassed.

Old Knudsen said...

If you spell Lurgan backwards you get Nagrul which was the chieftain who sided with Queen Mave at the battle of Clammydoon which is why Lurgan is a cursed place to this day.

Old Knudsen has a POD from the school of hard knocks.

Unknown said...

I have heard that Old Knudsen not only has caught crabs - he freely gives them, as well.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Larne is a fine place til pass through.

Niver bin near til Killamory, but it souns like the kine o' place that micht git a university at some point.

Ah past a roadsign fur Balloch taeday, a finer placename than maist. If ah lived thar ah'd suggest they twin wi' Muff.

Bell o' Crossgar said...

"Lisnafiffy Purple Helmets" - hae they anything tae dae wi the Maghaberry Brown Star?

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Ah think so, Bell. They both present Shining Ring Pieces for long service in the lodge