Monday, 21 September 2009

Ballyhalbert - UK City o' Culture - Part Yin......

As announced the o'er day, 1690 raiders surprisinly voted fur the humble Ards village o' Ballyhalbert as thar namination fur UK City o' Culture.  Ah cud fair detect the gasps o' shack frae amung the sae called "intelligentsia", sittin' up in thar posh Belfast an' Londonderry penthooses, drinkin' foreign things an' shoutin' the odds aboot how grate thar auld places are. Ye kin bet thit hardly yin o' them his sae much as set fut in Ballyhalbert, neverminds spent oany time in the Sandycoves caravan park. As pointed oot in oor escreed til the City o' Culture judges, Belfast an' Londonderry are far frae cultured places, whit wi' awl the wimmin oot shappin' in thar pyjamas. Admittedly Lurgan his made a late surge wi' its demonstrations o' traditional Mid-Ulster customs o'er the weekend, but Ballyhalbert is, wi'oot doubt, the standerd barer fur culture in this Province.


Ah hiv thus begun til put taegither ma' full bid fur Ballyhalbert tae be crowned UK City o' Culture, explorin' the beautiful village wi' its complex histerical past an' artistic present. This is jist a small selection o' whit Ballyhalbert his til offer.

Village Life.

Appearances kin be deceptive. Ballyhalbert may luk like thars nathin much gaein' oan but in fak it is a hotbed o' cultural, artistic an' sportin' endevour. This view o' Ballyhalbert frae the 1950s (appropriately named general view, raither than in depth study) surprisinly shows a young John Lennon (frae the Beetles) at play behind his granmaither's hoose. There are strawberries growin' in the field behine him.


As pointed oot in an earlier instawlment o' this blog, gaein' til the swings is an intrinsic part o' oany Norn Iron Seaside hallyday.This used til involve auld folk sittin' in the wind watchin' yung folk fall aff antiquated, rustin' death traps, but nat in Ballyhalbert, fur it his yin o' the highest tech sets o' swings an' the like oan the Ards. Apart frae swings it contains a variety o' rockin' animals, as well as a tunnel an' a soft falling oan surface. The gate is designed fur tae stap teenagers gettin' in an' wreckin'.

Histeric Monuments.

Londonderry may hiv it Walls an' Guildhall,  Belfast it's City Hall an' Giant Ring, but Ballyhalbert his a plethora of things left o'er frae the last war thit naebudy iver buthered til tumble. Bein' flat, Ballyhalbert wis an ideal spat fur an airbase in the war, an' thus played its ain' small part in defaitin' Hitler, unlike them o'er twa cities. These unique an' picturesque buildins shud be a must luksee fur international visiters. This particular example is used fur community art projects by local wains.

Ulster Scots

Ballyhalbert is at the fowerfront o' the drive til see Ulster Scots established as yin o' the wurlds lingua franka. Nat oany dae maist o' the folk spake it in thar day til day lifes, but awl the signs in the area noo portray the hamely tongue. It is interestin' til note thit the folk o' Ballyhalbert are culturallly accomdodatin'. Although fully aware o' the auld Ulster Scots name o' Talbotstoun, they are happy tae use the mair widely knain (an oan the map) anglicised Irish name - Ballyhalbert. Take note Londonderry folk, nae auld daftness here..

Tap accomodation.

Whichiver city wins this covetted title will require a wile lat o' bed space fur the wurldwide visiters wha will flack til it. Oan this front Ballyhalbert wilnae let yis down. No fewer thin seventy four caravan sites take advantage o' the auld airbases o' the region, providin' beds fur up tae 18,000 summer tourists. Thus as well as takin' in the breathtakin flatness o' Ballyhalbert, oor visiters kin widen thar cutlural horizons, livin' alangside 8 drunk 16 year olds oan a weekend away frae Carrickfergus.

Nixt time we will examine the cultural happinin's o' the place.

Mrs McWilliams

Is nat an attraction in Ballyhalbert, unless shis visitin', but she wus near arrested taeday due tae dissident republican activity. She disnae much like turnin richt oot o' her wurk, sae did her usual manouever o' ga'in left, then swingin' roun' in a layby an' procaidin' hame. Unfortunately she wus spatted by the polis wha assumed thit she wis avoidin' thar checkpoint an' must be carryin' a large amount o' weaponry. It tuk her a wile fur til realise thit the sirens were fur her.
The lesson in this is clear: wimmin - learn fur tae drive richt oor yi'll end up in Long Kesh.


Lukkin interestin'.


Manuel said...

bet them there swing are tied up on Sundays n that

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Nat surprisinly the wains o' Ballyhalbert knaw full well tae laive the swings alone oan the Saubeth. They dinnae tie them up in case heathens come doon frae Belfast lukkin' fur a guid play park.

Ah love swings. Ah micht set up ano'er blog whar me an' wee Billy review swings but ah'd be wurried thit ah'd be lifted fur takin' photaes in parks.

Serendipity A Pearson, Archae-shopper said...

I am deeply concerned abaout Mrs McWilliam's dreadful experience. What is the world coming to when the polis don't recognise that famous safety manouevre, the girlie right turn (turn left, take 1 st right, do a U-ey...).
I hope you are taking the necesary steps to eradicate the experience from her mind, to prevent any onset of post-traumatic distress syndrome. It is urgent that you provide a major shopping fund and relieved her from all domestic distractions until she spends it.