Thursday, 6 May 2010

Live thing

21.38 - Oan the couch, hiv beer an remote control. Watchin the channel 4 thing. Furgat tae get snacks, but foun a big bag o' Doritos oot o date frae Febuary. Ah hope they're OK.

21.45 - Edwina Currie, fur gods sake. Finger in her mouth like a common harlot. Nathin new there anyhow.

21.48 - 3 for 2 on selected plants at Homebase - handy

21.55 - time til turn til BBC1.

21.58 - what a crap road thing Jeremy Vine is on. Shit, forgot the drinking rules.

22.02 - wow - election results projected oantil Big Ben. Ah am fur projectin a picture o' Jim Allister's Arse oantil the Albert Clack if he gets in.

22.06 - ah apologise fur ma language - but ah fucking hate Michael Gove. Oh aye, the exit pole - nae mair accurate than mine.

22.11 - This is class - big graphs

22.16 - BBC 1 and 2 are both the same. Interestin that

22.21 - Bored now, going for a slash.

22.31 - Christ - Ben Kingsley and Bruce Forsyth - ????????

22.37 - our boys are up, but I'm fur a doze

22.40 - Jays - yid think the boy reportin frae the Ards would learn how til spake.

22.44 - Crap - dae ah watch here, or there. Think ah'll watch there fur a bit, fur they hiv a swingometer

22.53 - Some doll won fur Labour in some bit of Sunderland

22.58 - Get tae buck whichever Dimbelby ye are. We are a special case. Gae oan like thyon an ah'll blow up England messel.

23.09 - Queues to vote - turn up earlier

23.16 - Bored, definite doze.

23.46 - Woke up, bomb scare in Foyle and Londonderry - 10% swing til bastards

23.53 - Jaipurs ah'm sick o thesuns nat gettin til vote - ye hiv awl day.  Shud be a bank holiday mind ye.

23.58 - Pat Doherty nat yet seen at the Tyrone count. Nae surprise there then.

00.03 - Yvette Shapiro has stuck oan a few poun'

00.14 - Big Ians on, ah wunner if wee Ian will sing when he's winnin'

00.19 - Still 3 - 0 til Labour. Ah fancy some toast.

00.29 - A scoop - from Ian McCrea's Facebuk "Jim Allister concedes to Ian Paisley Jun hahahahahahahahahahahah" - honest ah didnae make that up

00.31 - Dimbleby mentions Love bombing.

00.34 - West Tyrone - Look, its Pat Doherty - watch him well for ye won't see him for a while. The invisible MP wins again.

00.36 - Jays he can talk.

00.37 - Ano'er yin - North Antrim - Wee Ian wins - good yeooooo there frae the assembled intelligensia.

00.44 - Jays he is dae'in the singin'. Wunner if there's a verse aboot praisin' praperty developers.

00.45 - Bugger me - Neck an neck in Aist Belfast. Jays.

00.46 - Arlene was oan the groun wi Peter in Aist Belfast - snigger


00.53 - Fealty - talkin brock - ma pole called the Alliance winnin a seat oor twa. Ma pole is wile accurate ye knaw.

00.58 - Wee Jeffrey his won Lagan Valley - twat

01.02 - Simpson tae - think the guid news is o'er

01.14 - Lady S is in, hair buck mental.

01.22 - BBC say that Wee Ian inherited a huge cushion frae his father.

01.26 - Gerry wearing jeans ah see. Has he helt his seat??????????

01.27 - Yes

01.30 - David Blunkett says Labour hiv lost the election. Ah think his dug was checkin the scores.

01.42 - Slap it up ye Spratt. Ye tosser. Oh aye - the Dr Fella hauls S. Belfast.

01.51 - Poor Lord Reginald - final nail in the UCUNF coffin. If ye cannae bait Wullie McCrea?

02.02 - Steven King is lookin a bit odd, and who is that wee woman in the middle.

02.13. - Hangin on fur Fermanagh - furgat til update there.

02.23 - Lembit Optic his lost his sait. Aboot time - the boys an arse.

02.26 - Arse biscuits - Wullie McCrea - Arse biscuits.

02.28 - Durkan intil Foyle - thought they'd lost count

02.40 - McCrea - fur God's sake.

02.48 - Here comes Lord Reginald - will he resign?

02.54 - Strangford - ancient seat o' the Vikings and oor Iris - is helt by Shannon

02.59 - FST - Connor by 6. Recount. Bed.

03.12 - Nat in bed yet. Wee Margaret in. 


Anonymous said...

Any wurd frae North Antrim yet Sir? Ma missus owes me hat action if Jim Allister gets in.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Nathin definite yet Anonymous, howiver tell yer missus til get her hat oot jist in case

Anonymous said...

Them Sunerland bodies are wile sharp at the sums.

Anonymous said...

Them Sunnerland wans are fierce wile sharp at the sums.

Anonymous said...

An again, they must hae 12 fingers each.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Anuther yin comin noo, Egbasten, think thats in England.

Anonymous said...

I'd luv tae kick Jim Allister in his wee Traditional Unionist bake. Wile dose of a fella.

ellie said...

Just when Peter Robinson thought things couldn't get any worse!

Anonymous said...

Dinnae want til get all semantic, but shud she no be called "Naomi Wide"? No offence til her like.

Professor Billy McWilliams said...

Now now Anonymous, naebudy's perfect. Thy'on jacket's been in the wars though. Niver aff her.

Anonymous said...

Wee Reg needs a hug.

Manuel said...

wunnner if there's a verse aboot praisin' praperty developers